So. Where do I start? I trained like crazy, and then messed myself up by trying some new inserts, which through my body all out of wack. I felt good in the beginning. I felt I was running well. Then I don't know what happened. I got all worked up. I was nervous that I wasn't going fast enough. I was disappointed in myself for not being able to push harder. I was really hurting the last four miles or so of the race and DRAGGING myself the last two miles. My cousin really helped keep my spirits up enough to get to the finish line and into the sound to "ice". I was disappointed in my race...even though I made a PR. I really felt I could have done better if I had paid more attention to my body during training.
I had a bad race experience and now I need to choose how to react to that. I need to change my focus.
New Focus:
Enjoy the process
Run free, yet focused
Love the run
Run to relieve stress, not create it
"When life gets hard, YOU have to change!" -Shannon Hoon, Blind Melon, Change
In the beginning, I remember thinking "I can DO this!"...that's the main sentence that comes to mind when I think of the first week or two of running. I thought of it as a freedom, as something that I could do for myself, as a way to regain a part of me that had been missing for a long time (the althlete in me), I could do it outside and I didn't need to go to the sweaty, smelly gym. I wanted to lose a few pounds, but it wasn't the main focus (which may have been why it actually MADE me lose weight). I wanted to be one of those girls that I would see running and think to myself, "I wish I could do that. I wish that I liked running. I wish that I had a sport that I was passionate about." Runners always looked so free, yet focused to me; I wanted that feeling.
What have I already obtained from running that I refuse to let go??
Fitness and a love for it. I am not letting go of that. I also have an outlet that I love. I ENJOY "working out". I don't want to lose that either. I have a new respect for myself that I have followed through with something. I also love the racing atmosphere and running with other like-minded people, since most of my friends don't run. It's nice to be around people who don't want to just sit around at a bar all weekend and talk about the TV shows that they can't miss...and sit around all week watching...so they can go to the bar and sit around talking about them. What kind of life is that?
What do I want to get out of/accomplish through running??
I want to be a lifetime runner. I don't want to have to stop running ever. That means taking care of my body and probably starting to cross-train more often. I would also like to eventually complete a marathon. I want it to continue to make me feel free, yet focused.
What is a good run for me??
My favorite runs are long and at a good pace. I like not having to worry about pace and enjoy looking around. The distance makes me feel like I accomplished something and the pace/looking around makes me feel like I am free: I am free, yet focused.
What is a good race to me??
I have most enjoyed the races that were at a distance that I wasn't sure I reach. During those, I didn't worry about the pace, just getting to the finish line. I enjoyed the process, not just as a means to the finish line, but as a progression...as fun and heart. When I am going for time, I feel proud after, but I hate the run. There were a few times that I was proud of and they occurred when I wasn't going for time...and I enjoyed the ride. Why am I out there? To break some time barrier by adding training runs that I hate, and then having a race that I hate the run, but like the time at the end? What am I trying to prove?? A good race to me is one where I enjoyed the ride and am satisfied with my final time. One where I know that I put all of me into the race and had a blast while doing it.
What do I like the most about running??
The freedom and the scenery (I am mentally noting that these both have a lot to do with NOT making a particular time goal, while having much more to do with taking the time to look around) I also really like the release I feel afterward. I also love the respect I have for myself, which a regular workout routine always seems to give. I love the sense of community you feel with other runners, since running seems to really be something that only other runners can fully understand.
What do I like the most about racing??
I like the atmosphere. Everyone is out there because they have some level of committment to running and fitness in general. Racing makes running, which is most often a solo act, a behavior, or worse, "a workout", a SPORT that is shared with others. I like seeing the faces of others who have just done something that they didn't know they could do. I like the frontliners, the middle of the pack and the back of the line...I just like the ones who have pushed themselves to that finish line with all the heart they could muster...whatever the goal. I like the supportive attitudes that everyone has in each other completing his/her own personal goals.
What don't I like about running currently??
I'm hurting my body right now. Things are going really wrong. I'm not enjoying my runs where I worry about time and I actually do better when I don't think about it. I don't like the need I have to go fast to "prove" something...I feel like I need to prove that I'm a runner. Does completing in a certain time do that? No. It's as if I feel that to show that I run a lot, that I am committed to running, I need to be a fast runner. None of that works into my long term goals for running or the reasons why I started or continue to run. Who exactly am I trying to "prove" this to? It's not me, so I'm stopping immediately. I don't have to prove anything to anyone, except myself
How do I fix that??
Take a week off to heal (blah). Stop running for time. Start adding in some biking and swimming. Get good shoes. Listen to my Cousie and "love the run"............enjoy the process. After some fun running, schedule a fun race to do (not for time at all) to stay focused...invite some friends along : ) Good times.
What don't I like about racing currently?? How do I fix that??
Stop stressing out!! This is to relieve stress, not create it!! Go out there and "love the run" (as Cousie says). Run comfortably hard and do the best that I can do on that particular day, on that particular course, and let the run relax me, not stress me.
Thoughts of the hour:
Enjoy the process
Run free, yet focused
Love the run
Run to relieve stress, not create it
You need to try something to see if it works for you. I tried running for time and I have found that it is not for me...and THAT'S OKAY!
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Monday, May 4, 2009
Freeing and Cleansing
I was supposed to do a 5 mile easy with Crystal, but it was raining, so she bailed. I decided to go a different direction (right out of my street instead of left) and run for about 45 minutes wherever I happened to end up.
I really enjoyed the freedom of going where I felt like it and my run turned into a 6.4 mile easy-ish. It was really the best way to start out this training: reminding me why I started running in the first place...for THIS feeling...just running.
The weather was rainy as hell, really heavy at times, but it wasn't really cold. It actually felt great to have the rain water dripping down my face. It was cleansing...It made me feel strong, like Rocky. Like nothing could stop me...not even the crappy weather. I looked around, I ran at an even and comfortable pace...I felt the runner's rhythm.
I came home drenched, as if I had stood in the shower for five minutes with all my clothes on...I don't think there was a spot of me that wasn't soaked...but I was giggling at myself and in good spirits. I want to make sure to include these type of runs in my training in order to not be boggled down by the schedule.
I need to have these runs to remind me that running is what I choose for it to be in my life. It is the one thing of which I have all the control...it is for ME and only me. It is my release, my joy, a source of power and serenity. I will only make my goals, if I can keep this in my mind throughout training. Push it hard, but remember what you love about running and take the time to enjoy that once in a while.
Happy running : )
I really enjoyed the freedom of going where I felt like it and my run turned into a 6.4 mile easy-ish. It was really the best way to start out this training: reminding me why I started running in the first place...for THIS feeling...just running.
The weather was rainy as hell, really heavy at times, but it wasn't really cold. It actually felt great to have the rain water dripping down my face. It was cleansing...It made me feel strong, like Rocky. Like nothing could stop me...not even the crappy weather. I looked around, I ran at an even and comfortable pace...I felt the runner's rhythm.
I came home drenched, as if I had stood in the shower for five minutes with all my clothes on...I don't think there was a spot of me that wasn't soaked...but I was giggling at myself and in good spirits. I want to make sure to include these type of runs in my training in order to not be boggled down by the schedule.
I need to have these runs to remind me that running is what I choose for it to be in my life. It is the one thing of which I have all the control...it is for ME and only me. It is my release, my joy, a source of power and serenity. I will only make my goals, if I can keep this in my mind throughout training. Push it hard, but remember what you love about running and take the time to enjoy that once in a while.
Happy running : )
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Going Long
There is something incredibly empowering about going long. A long run is just what it sounds like: a run that is usually significantly longer than your other weekly runs. Most people will do one a week when training for a long race. I usually do one a week, often with my running partner, Lauren. I love the sense of empowerment that I get in knowing that I am doing something that most people cannot do. I love the feeling of peace I get afterward from the endorphin release. I love the feeling that I am really strong. Every once in a while, I "check" myself and say, "Remember when you couldn't run a full three miles?!" I love that I can be outside, no matter the weather. I hate being shackled up all winter! Even though it may be cold, there is still something unexplainable which is gained from being outside for an extended period of time. I am grateful for everyday that I can go long, as I know it won't last forever. Eventually my body is going to reject me running so long, but until then, I will continue to enjoy every long run I do.
KJ
KJ
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Endorphins: The Runner's High
Although many people in the scientific community dispute the idea of endorphins (or anything else) causing a "high" in runners, I don't know one serious runner who hasn't experienced this feeling. What is it about running, especially really hard or long, that causes us to feel that euphoric, relaxed high? A recent study was conducted, which for the first time showed increased levels of endorphins in certain areas of the brain after a two hour jog. Scientists are beginning to realize that there is more to the endorphin theory than just myth. (Boecker, 2008)
Endorphins are neurotransmitters released in the brain after experiencing a significant amount of pain and they calm physical (and some believe psychological) pain. Endorphins are a human's natural opiate, like morphine, which is released to numb pain. (Boecker, 2008) In my experience with running, I feel amazing directly after a mental battle of whether or not I should turn in my running shoes forever. This point in my run usually only comes after a real significant time of running and I really feel that it is due to some type of chemical release in the brain. However, I am just one person and cannot make assumptions saying that this is the point of endorphin release (but it sure does seem like that).
So, the idea now is to find out, not only if the added release of endorphins are the cause of the "runner's high" feelings, as it has also been shown that exercise can release the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter related to mood and dopamine is related to arousal. Since these two neurotransmitters can be linked to "feel good" emotions and dopamine can cause the relaxation, perhaps it is a combination of all three fun little neurotransmitters which give us a runner's high. Raised serotonin levels improve mood and relieves anxiety; raised dopamine levels cause relaxation while prolonging energy set specifically for running; raised endorphin levels numb the pain (or the perception of pain, really). Sounds like an awesome combination to me!
Reference:
Boecker, Henning. (2008). Brain imaging explores the myth of runner's high. Medical News
Today. Retrieved February 15, 2009, from http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/99420.php.
Endorphins are neurotransmitters released in the brain after experiencing a significant amount of pain and they calm physical (and some believe psychological) pain. Endorphins are a human's natural opiate, like morphine, which is released to numb pain. (Boecker, 2008) In my experience with running, I feel amazing directly after a mental battle of whether or not I should turn in my running shoes forever. This point in my run usually only comes after a real significant time of running and I really feel that it is due to some type of chemical release in the brain. However, I am just one person and cannot make assumptions saying that this is the point of endorphin release (but it sure does seem like that).
So, the idea now is to find out, not only if the added release of endorphins are the cause of the "runner's high" feelings, as it has also been shown that exercise can release the neurotransmitters serotonin and dopamine. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter related to mood and dopamine is related to arousal. Since these two neurotransmitters can be linked to "feel good" emotions and dopamine can cause the relaxation, perhaps it is a combination of all three fun little neurotransmitters which give us a runner's high. Raised serotonin levels improve mood and relieves anxiety; raised dopamine levels cause relaxation while prolonging energy set specifically for running; raised endorphin levels numb the pain (or the perception of pain, really). Sounds like an awesome combination to me!
Reference:
Boecker, Henning. (2008). Brain imaging explores the myth of runner's high. Medical News
Today. Retrieved February 15, 2009, from http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/99420.php.
Friday, February 13, 2009
A Socratic Guide
At one point in my life, which I like to call my "mid-college crisis", I became unclear about what I wanted to study and what I wanted to pursue for a career. My guidance counselor at the time was also a sociology professor and had a Socratic method of teaching and counseling. He wanted his students to make the decisions and, as his job description implies, he was only the guide. His method included, most often, a series of questions which would eventually lead an insightful decision, something that Socrates was known to do in ancient Greece.
As I pummeled my guidance counselor with my insecurities, he impored the Socratic method and asked me, "What subject can you talk about for hours at a time and not get bored?" The answer was so incredibly clear: psychology. Now, I believe that I can add running to that mix, although at any given time in my life, I have always had psychology and nothing more. This added topic of running (and really a lot of exercise physiology in general) is incredibly freeing. Although some may think that I complicate running and exercise by the amount of time that I put into thinking about, scheduling, recording, etc., I really feel that it simplifies it. Having a plan and having an outlet for my OCD is helpful to my psyche.
Running has influenced my life like not much else has. Psychology has already influenced my life and it is going to have a more profound impact, as I near the completion of my psychology degree. Although I am still not sure exactly what I would like to do within the field, I do know that, as much as I want to make an impact on the field, the field will also impact me. The people that I will come in contact with will change my understanding of human behavioral trends and emotions. At the same time, I pledge to continue my education, whether formal or not, to understand how I can better help those with psychological issues and disorders. I want to be what so many have been for me in the past: a guide in understanding and stepping firmly into the future.
As I pummeled my guidance counselor with my insecurities, he impored the Socratic method and asked me, "What subject can you talk about for hours at a time and not get bored?" The answer was so incredibly clear: psychology. Now, I believe that I can add running to that mix, although at any given time in my life, I have always had psychology and nothing more. This added topic of running (and really a lot of exercise physiology in general) is incredibly freeing. Although some may think that I complicate running and exercise by the amount of time that I put into thinking about, scheduling, recording, etc., I really feel that it simplifies it. Having a plan and having an outlet for my OCD is helpful to my psyche.
Running has influenced my life like not much else has. Psychology has already influenced my life and it is going to have a more profound impact, as I near the completion of my psychology degree. Although I am still not sure exactly what I would like to do within the field, I do know that, as much as I want to make an impact on the field, the field will also impact me. The people that I will come in contact with will change my understanding of human behavioral trends and emotions. At the same time, I pledge to continue my education, whether formal or not, to understand how I can better help those with psychological issues and disorders. I want to be what so many have been for me in the past: a guide in understanding and stepping firmly into the future.
A Change in Focus
For the past few months, I have still been running. I met my goal of running 100 miles in one month...twice. I am currently running about 20-25 miles a week, with a long run of 13 miles. I have also added yoga once or twice a week. All of this and I have gained weight, but whatever. I have quit smoking (October 7th, 2008 was my first smoke-free day) and I have no urge to go back. I have been running my long runs with a partner, Lauren, who is fun and fast. I have been having trouble with my ankles and shin splints. I have tendonitis in both ankles, but I lowered my mileage, ran through it, and I think that I strengthened them them. Yoga has helped to lengthen them and my muscles as well.
Enough of the boring "where I'm at now" crap. Let us now discuss where I am going. I have never been good at keeping up with a blog (or any journal for that matter); however, for some reason I am constantly drawn back to them. I would like to combine this blog into a running/psychology blog. A blog which gives me an outlet for my ideas in psychology, while it gives me a place to talk about the two things that I annoy everyone talking about, since I can't shut up about them: psychology and running. I'm not sure exactly how that is going to work out, or what exactly that means. However, from now on, this blog will not only be my boring running stuff, but also how running affects my psyche and how my psyche affects my running. The good old mind and body link.
Enough of the boring "where I'm at now" crap. Let us now discuss where I am going. I have never been good at keeping up with a blog (or any journal for that matter); however, for some reason I am constantly drawn back to them. I would like to combine this blog into a running/psychology blog. A blog which gives me an outlet for my ideas in psychology, while it gives me a place to talk about the two things that I annoy everyone talking about, since I can't shut up about them: psychology and running. I'm not sure exactly how that is going to work out, or what exactly that means. However, from now on, this blog will not only be my boring running stuff, but also how running affects my psyche and how my psyche affects my running. The good old mind and body link.
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